Ever feel stressed out, tired, maybe even unhappy?

Living day to day under a cloud of unhappiness can take a toll on your physical and mental health, and it can show up like this:1

• Trouble sleeping
• Fatigue
• Anxiety and depression
• Difficulty concentrating
• High blood pressure
• Inflammation
• Lack of motivation

Maybe you’ve been down this road before. And you’ve looked everywhere for the secret to happiness. Yes?

Here’s a hint: You won’t find lasting happiness with money, fame or fortune. It’s not the house you live in, car you drive, or your net worth. It’s not even the perfect body or optimal health.

So what’s the key to happiness?

New research points to healthy relationships as the number one predictor for happiness.

In the Harvard Study of Adult Development that spanned 80 years, researchers found one thing was a greater predictor of happiness than anything else: Relationships.2

The more healthy relationships in your life, the happier you’ll be. Surrounded by toxic or unhealthy relationships? Happiness is going to be harder to achieve, regardless of income, social-economic status, physical health, wealth, career, and many other factors.

Take a look at the close relationships you have with people in your life like your:

• Spouse or partner
• Children
• Parents
• Boss
• Co-workers
• Friends

Chances are pretty good some of these relationships are better than others. But are any of these relationships toxic or unhealthy? Here’s how to tell:3

• You feel drained, frustrated, or upset any time you interact with a certain person
• There’s someone in your circle you always have negative thoughts about
• You put a lot of effort into supporting a relationship, while the other person doesn’t
• You feel worthless and unappreciated by someone

Any of these raise a red flag? If you’re nodding your head, it’s a sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship that needs work so you can be happier.

Happiness: 6 Ways to Build Healthy Relationships

Want to build healthier relationships to boost happiness? Here are six ways to connect with the people in your life in positive ways:

1. Be a good listener

When you’re with someone, give them your undivided attention and listen to what they’re saying. Put down your phone. Turn off the TV. Limit distractions. Ask follow up questions and restate what they said to make sure you understand what they’re saying.

2. Remember, it’s not always about you

When someone asks for your advice or wants to talk about a problem, keep the focus on what they’re dealing with. You might share similar or relevant experiences that could help them, but remember it’s not always about you.

3. Stay calm

In the middle of a heated conversation with someone? Stay calm. Yelling or speaking in a negative or aggressive way won’t help. If you can’t keep your cool, table the conversation for later.

4. Choose to act…instead of reacting

If you’re upset or frustrated with someone about an issue, check yourself first. If you’re tired, hungry, lonely, or under a lot of stress, being upset may have more to do with yourself than someone else.

5. Spend time together

If you want to develop healthy relationships, spending time together helps build connections. Pick up the phone. Walk over to their office. Set up a video call. Work on a project together or go for a walk.

6. Focus on the positive

It’s easy to be critical, find fault, or point out mistakes. But what if you spend more time focusing on the positive, being grateful, and recognizing the things someone is doing well? You’ll feel happier and build better relationships with others.

If you’re in a relationship that needs work, it doesn’t mean you have to cut the person out of your life (sometimes it’s the best option). If you and the other person are willing to work on your relationship, you can make it better.

Healthy relationships take time to develop and require mutual respect. If you really want to be happy, developing positive relationships is one of the most important things you can do for your mental and physical health.

When the Dread Pirate Roberts pours two goblets of red wine in the cult-classic movie, The Princess Bride, he already knows the outcome.

He mixes up the goblets and serves one to kidnapper and criminal mastermind Vizzini.

“The battle of wits has begun,” says Roberts. “It ends when you decide and we both drink to find out who is right and who is dead.”

And after a lot of back-and-forth banter, it’s the end of the road for Vizinni.

Chances are pretty good you’ve heard red wine may be good for the heart. But you may want to rethink your drink before you pour another glass. Why?

The World Health Federation recently published new findings recommending: “No amount of alcohol is good for the heart.”1

Alcohol by the numbers

2.4 million deaths per year worldwide are linked to alcohol
40 preventable diseases are linked to alcohol use (including heart disease, stroke, and certain types of cancer)
92 million people are disabled per year worldwide because of alcohol
10,000+ traffic-related fatalities per year in the U.S. are caused by alcohol

Some research suggests resveratrol and antioxidants in red wine may be good for heart health. But that doesn’t mean you should take up drinking wine.

“…There is an impression in the population in general, and even among health care professionals, that it is good for the heart,” says World Health Organization chair Beatriz Champange. “It is not, and the evidence has increasingly shown that there is no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.”

The Red Wine Paradox

Drinking red wine isn’t a cure for heart disease, according to the American Heart Association.2

Some research studies have found that people who drink wine have a lower risk for heart disease. But red wine may not be the reason.

“It might be that wine drinkers are more likely to have a healthier lifestyle and a healthier diet such as the Mediterranean diet, which is known to be cardioprotective,: says University of Southern California researcher Dr. Robert Kloner.

But the evidence is clear that drinking too much alcohol can be harmful.

If you don’t drink, don’t start.

If you choose to drink, follow these guidelines by the American Heart Association:

Men. No more than two drinks per day.
Women. No more than one drink per day. Zero if pregnant.
A drink is: 12 ounces of beer, 4 ounces of wine, 1.5 ounces of 80-proof spirits, or 1 ounce of 100-proof spirits.

References

1. Pinto, F., et al. (2022). The impact of alcohol consumption on cardiovascular health: Myths and measures. World Heart Federation. From: https://world-heart-federation.org/wp-content/uploads/WHF-Policy-Brief-Alcohol.pdf

2. American Heart Association. (2019). Drinking red wine for heart health? Read this before you toast. From: https://www.heart.org/en/news/2019/05/24/drinking-red-wine-for-heart-health-read-this-before-you-toast

Learning to develop healthy habits can have a positive impact on your health, happiness, and quality of life. Makes sense, right?

Most of us understand the idea. We set goals or make New Year’s resolutions to improve. It’s kind of like drawing a line in the sand saying: “Today is the first day of the rest of my life.”

But too often, that’s as far as it goes. About two-thirds of people who make New Year’s resolutions give up within a month.1 But it doesn’t have to be this way.

If you want to make a change or drop old habits for new ones, you need a SMART plan to get from where you are to where you want to be.

Before you get started, get clear about WHY you want to achieve a specific goal. For example:

• I want to lose weight. Why?
• I want to eat healthier. Why?
• I want to sleep better. Why?
• I want to lower my blood pressure. Why?

Once you have a goal in mind, defining your “why” can help motivate you to take a step forward.

• Why do you want to make a change?
• What would it mean to you to accomplish your goal?

When you approach your goals with a bigger purpose in mind, it can help you focus on why you’re putting in the effort to make a change.

Once you’re clear about why you want to make a change, use these 5 steps to create a SMART plan to accomplish your goal.

1. Be Specific

Be specific about what you want to accomplish. Examples:

• Lose 10 pounds.
• Lower blood pressure by 10 points.
• Drink 64+ ounces of water a day.
• Exercise for 30 minutes at least three days a week.
• Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

Identify a specific goal you want to accomplish and are willing to work at to achieve

2. Make It Measurable

Being able to measure your progress will help you be successful.

• How many minutes a day will you exercise?
• How many steps a day will you take?
• How much water will you drink per day?
• What is your ideal weight or blood pressure?

Define how you will measure your progress and explain the actions you will take to help you reach your goal.

For example, a daily weigh-in or food diary can help you track your progress. Keep it simple.

3. Set an Attainable Goal

Your goal needs to be attainable.

Why? Setting unrealistic goals is one reason so many people fail at accomplishing New Year’s resolutions. Your goals shouldn’t be an all-or-nothing effort.

Start small and improve from there. If 80 percent of the time you’re doing the right thing to attain your goal, you can do the wrong things 20 percent of the time and still move forward without beating yourself up about it.

4. Chose a Reasonable Outcome

If you don’t exercise much right now, but you set goal to run a marathon next week, that’s probably not going to happen.

Your goals need to be reasonable.

Is it something you can accomplish within the timeframe you’ve set, and something you’re willing to do?

For example, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week is a reasonable goal for most people who need to lose weight.

And if you want to exercise at least 30 minutes a day, walking on a treadmill isn’t going to work if you hate it. Try walking outside.

5. Create a Timeline

Set a timeline for both small and large goals. This will help you develop healthy habits that will last.

Define what you will do:

• Today
• In 3 days
• In 7 days
• In 30 days
• In 90 days.
• In 120 days

For example: Set a date for reaching your ideal weight and commit to taking the necessary actions to get there.

If you really want to develop healthy habits, you can. And you don’t need to wait until New Year’s 2023. Now…today…is always the best time to improve your health.

If you want to create healthy habits that last, set SMART goals to create a plan that provides structure, a routine, and repetition of actionable steps to help you be successful.

You wake up on a winter morning with big plans to fit in a walk, jog, run, or bike ride. Then you look out the window.

If you’re greeted by rain, snow, ice, windy conditions, or freezing temperatures, you might be tempted to pull up the covers where it’s warm and dry.

Been there, done that?

Research shows people are more likely to skip exercise during the winter months, especially when the weather includes rain, snow, or ice.

Here’s the thing. Winter or not, only 23 percent of adults get the minimum amount of exercise recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Here’s what the CDC recommends for exercise:

• Aerobic exercise: At least 150 minutes a week of moderate activity (walking, jogging, cycling, etc)
• Strength Training: Two days of strength training per week that work all the major muscle groups (arms, legs, back, shoulders, hips, core).

Regular exercise can help you manage your weight, prevent chronic diseases, improve your mood, and help you feel better.

So what should you do on a cold winter day when you don’t feel like exercising?

Here are FIVE ways to stay active during the winter months:

1. Get outside

Get out of bed and get out there…even if it’s cold. Put on a raincoat or a warm jacket. If it’s extra cold, add layers, plus a hat, scarf and gloves. Go for a brisk walk or jog. Aim for 20 to 30 minutes. That’s it.

2. Hit the gym

Too cold and wet to go outside? Go to the gym. You can check off aerobic exercise and strength training in a single visit. Walk on the treadmill or ride a stationary bike for 20 to 30 minutes. Then complete a circuit on the weight machines to work all the major muscle groups. You can be done in less than an hour.

3. Exercise at home

If you don’t have a gym membership or you really don’t want to go outside, workout at home. Try jumping jacks or jogging in place for aerobic exercise. If you have an exercise bike or treadmill at home, use it.

Strength training exercises you can do at home include: Push-ups, crunches, squats, and lunges. If you have free weights or a weight machine at home, pick an exercise you can do to work all the major muscle groups.

4. Walk indoors

Here’s another way to exercise during winter weather, without going outside. Go for a walk in a mall or big box store. Loop the mall or big box store a few times, and walk for 20 to 30 minutes.

5. Follow along…at home

Here’s another way to exercise at home. Pick a fitness video and follow along. It’s a lot like taking a fitness class at a gym. An instructor will guide you through a workout, show you what to do, and give you encouragement. Put on your workout clothes and fit in some exercise…in your living room.

Winter weather doesn’t have to stop you from exercising. In most cases, you can brave cold temperatures for a 20-30 minute workout. But if the conditions are too cold or dangerous, or you just really don’t want to go outside, there are other ways to fit in some exercise to improve health and your life.

7 ways to be active during cold weather

You don’t have to let cold weather stop you from exercising. But it happens.

You know…you wake up early to exercise. Then you look out the window and check the temperature, and it’s nasty. Cold, wind, rain, snow, maybe all three.

If you don’t have a backup plan for exercising during cold weather, you might skip exercise for sleeping in or at least staying home. That ever happen?

Only 23 percent of adults get enough exercise daily, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.1 Even fewer people exercise when Old Man Winter shows up.2

Maybe it doesn’t make sense to exercise outdoors at some point during the winter. For example, on Jan. 20, 1985 Chicago, Ill., recorded its coldest temperature ever…-27°F. That’s cold!

Is that too cold to exercise? For most people, that might be a “yes.” But it’s still possible.

Here’s an example. There’s a 26.2-mile marathon at the North Pole where temperatures are usually a chilly -4 to -40°F and the chance of polar bear attacks are real. But that doesn’t deter dozens of runners from dressing in layers to go the distance.

If that sounds a little extreme, you’re not alone. However, if winter weather appears to be too cold, wet, or messy for you to get outside, you can still be active…indoors.

Here are 7 ways to exercise indoors during winter weather:

1. Take a brisk walk through your local mall.
2. Find an indoor pool where you can go swimming
3. Go to the gym to lift weights, cycle, or use the treadmill.
4. Attend an indoor fitness class (yoga, bootcamp, kickboxing)
5. Play a sport indoors (basketball, pickleball, volleyball, maybe even dodgeball)
6. Find an exercise video, and follow along in your living room.
7. Use fitness equipment. Walk, jog or run on a treadmill. Or use a stationary bike.

The next time Old Man Winter pays you a visit, and you think it’s too cold outside to exercise, pick one of these activities or something else and exercise indoors.

The goal: Be active at least 30 minutes a day, even when it’s cold outside.

Think before you drink during the holidays

Do you drink alcohol during the holidays?

For about 70 percent of adults, that’s just part of celebrating the season.1

Maybe you go out to eat during the holidays and order beer or wine from the menu. Maybe you attend a holiday party and drink beer and alcohol. Or maybe a little wine to wind down at night is already part of your daily routine.

Sound familiar? The holidays may be a popular time to drink alcohol. But even one drink comes with some risk.

If you’re thinking about diet or weight loss in the new year, think about this…

• Alcohol is loaded with empty calories
• Alcohol stimulates appetite
• Consuming alcohol can lead to weight gain

Alcohol also interferes with judgement, decision making, and reaction times. An estimated 50 percent of all driving-related accidents are linked to alcohol.

About one-third of all adults don’t drink alcohol, which is the best way to prevent alcohol-related problems. If you do drink, consider what happens when you mix alcohol and the holidays:

• 6 minutes. Time it takes for ONE drink to impair the brain
• 6 to 9 hours. Average number of hours it takes for the effects of alcohol to wear off
• 33% of suicides during the holidays involve alcohol
• 37% of all highway deaths on Christmas linked to alcohol
• 58% of all highway deaths on New Year’s linked to alcohol
• 155% increase in alcohol-caused driving offenses on New Year’s Eve
• 25,000+ people injured in traffic crashes caused by alcohol during the holidays

Avoid or Limit Alcohol

If alcohol is part of the way you celebrate the holidays, drink responsibly. Follow these guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.2

What is a standard drink?

• 12 ounces of beer
• 8 ounces of malt liquor
• 5 ounces of wine
• 1.5 ounces of distilled spirits (gin, rum, vodka, whiskey)

For best health, avoid alcohol. If you choose to drink, follow these guidelines:

• Women: No more than 1 drink per day. Zero if pregnant.
• Men: No more than 2 drinks per day if under age 65.
• Seniors: No more than 1 drink daily for people age 65 and older.

If drinking alcohol is part of the way you celebrate the holidays, be smart about it. Or try sparkling cider, flavored tonic water, or non-alcoholic drinks instead.